How to get a bid from a straight frat if you're gay
Sunday, January 20, 2008
"Some men joined frats to get rid of their sexuality, to hide their gayness."
Is this statement true? Maybe back in the 60s. Does it still apply? I don't know. Whether gay people belong to fraternities and how do gay guys get bids remain topics that guarantee a heated debate.
Don't forget fraternities, like all other organizations, are all about image, popularity and rankings. It is not uncommon for many frats to think that by accepting openly gay members, their brand will devaluate to future potential pledges. Also, the thought of staying in the same house with open homos may make them feel uncomfortable. Some even argued that accepting openly gay members is not conductive to organizational stability. If you are gay and plan to pledge, here are some advice:
1. Have the grace to be manly around the school: I know it's a controversial thing for me to say. Like the U.S. military, there is an unspoken rule of "don't ask, don't tell" in many fraternities. People are not stupid, bisexual and gay brothers have ALWAYS existed in ALL fraternities, even if some people would prefer otherwise. For those people, as long as you don't bring up this sensitive topic, they would appreciate your consideration for not making them feel uncomfortable and would not even bring this up as a topic of conversation.
2. Touch base with the greek advisor on campus: Although I don't think any greek organizations would put "get rid of any gay, Asian, or black pledges" in their bylaw, it is clear that some chapters are more open and progressive than the others. The greek advisor on campus is a good reference point if you need help deciding which frat is more progressive. If you must, seek confirmation on this issue from the fraternity's national office.
3. Accentuate the positive: If they found out during the rush process that you're gay/bi and you are lucky enough to still be given a bid, highlight the potential benefits that you can provide to the fraternity. E.g. you have a lot of chick friends. I don't see why a fraternity would not want more cute girls hanging around their house? Remember, a person is granted membership because the existing brothers figured that it would possibly benefit the chapter in some (often superficial) way.
4. Don't date a brother: You don't try to date a brother, simple as that.
Is this statement true? Maybe back in the 60s. Does it still apply? I don't know. Whether gay people belong to fraternities and how do gay guys get bids remain topics that guarantee a heated debate.
Don't forget fraternities, like all other organizations, are all about image, popularity and rankings. It is not uncommon for many frats to think that by accepting openly gay members, their brand will devaluate to future potential pledges. Also, the thought of staying in the same house with open homos may make them feel uncomfortable. Some even argued that accepting openly gay members is not conductive to organizational stability. If you are gay and plan to pledge, here are some advice:
1. Have the grace to be manly around the school: I know it's a controversial thing for me to say. Like the U.S. military, there is an unspoken rule of "don't ask, don't tell" in many fraternities. People are not stupid, bisexual and gay brothers have ALWAYS existed in ALL fraternities, even if some people would prefer otherwise. For those people, as long as you don't bring up this sensitive topic, they would appreciate your consideration for not making them feel uncomfortable and would not even bring this up as a topic of conversation.
2. Touch base with the greek advisor on campus: Although I don't think any greek organizations would put "get rid of any gay, Asian, or black pledges" in their bylaw, it is clear that some chapters are more open and progressive than the others. The greek advisor on campus is a good reference point if you need help deciding which frat is more progressive. If you must, seek confirmation on this issue from the fraternity's national office.
3. Accentuate the positive: If they found out during the rush process that you're gay/bi and you are lucky enough to still be given a bid, highlight the potential benefits that you can provide to the fraternity. E.g. you have a lot of chick friends. I don't see why a fraternity would not want more cute girls hanging around their house? Remember, a person is granted membership because the existing brothers figured that it would possibly benefit the chapter in some (often superficial) way.
4. Don't date a brother: You don't try to date a brother, simple as that.
Labels: fraternity, straight guys
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on Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 7:20 AM.
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January 20, 2008 6:36 PM
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